Lighten up, be a bad mother and reap the rewards.

A mother holds up her child.
A mother holds up her child. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today I realized that after twenty one years of rearing a family, I have cracked the secret to “Good Health” and “Happiness”. Amazing, not just one secret but two!

I was looking around my messy house, whilst my children did what they do best, Β create more mess, and it came to me.
It was like an epiphany!

I have been running this household for the past 21 years. Ok, I have a husband who brings in the money, pays the mortgage and all bills, puts food on the table, clothes the kids, funds college, after school activities and most importantly keeps me in wine, but thats his JOB! What has he actually achieved!

I on the other hand have managed to crack one of lifes great secrets.
The secret to Good health and happiness!

There must be some sort of award I could be nominated for?

I’m not selfish. I will not keep this to myself. Here are the keys to you too cracking the secret.

The key to Good Health is “Dirt, Germs and a Diet Lacking Anything Green”.
The key to Happiness is “Guiltless” or some might say “Bad” Parenting

My guidelines to “Good Health” as lived by in my house.

1. Get rid of your cleaner.
2. Stop changing sheets so regularly.
3. No need to vacumn under suites and hidden away places. Just do it if your mother in law is coming to visit.
4. Throw out all those germ eliminating products. just spray the air with polish if some one is calling by.
5. Can you see the dirt on the kitchen floor? No. Great it’s clean enough so.
6. Are all those clothes in the wash basket really dirty?
7. The five second rule is allowed. (unless you have visitors, then you tut tut and hurriedly pick up whatever dropped and bin it or wash it)
9. Avoid doctors. Paracetamol, a DVD and a duvet day work well.
10. If your children hate green foods, leave them in the supermarket. (not your children!).

key to Happiness ( lighten up.)

1. Does your baby really need to eat every bit of that “healthy” dinner? Maybe they can have two desserts just for today instead.?
2. If you pick your baby up because it’s crying, will it really become spoiled and impossible to rear?
3. If you choose to give your child a soother, will your laziness mean they need orthodontic work?
4. Just because your small child does not want another child to share the toy they are so enjoying, will they turn into selfish brats with no friends?
5.If your child is a little slow to walk, speak, or recite nursery rhymes, does that mean they will be under achievers all their lives?
6. If your little boy is fascinated by guns, will he be featuring on world headlines in years to come.
7. Just because your daughter hates dresses and your son loves barbies, will they have gender issues?
8. If your teenager is moody, detached and hanging around, does that mean they are on drugs and lost to you forever?

If you think the correct answer to all these “Happiness” questions is “Yes” then I’m afraid you have strayed to the wrong blog!
It is of course “No”.
We are reading too many “experts” and watching too many adds about germs.
Time to trust our own instincts.

So stop spending all that time cleaning. Dump the guilt. Relax. Enjoy the magic that is parenting.

I say “lighten up” be a “bad mother” and reap the rewards.

******* Forgive me. This is a repost. It was first posted in February so hopefully it is new for a lot of you. I am home from my brothers wedding. Three magnificent days of “celebrating”. I think I should have undertaken some sort of training to prepare me. However I am not quite up to posting tonight. Hopefully some of you will enjoy this.

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23 thoughts on “Lighten up, be a bad mother and reap the rewards.

  1. I’ve always been baffled by those who excessively wash their floors. Unless you have a crawling baby…..really?? Only our feet hit the floor. Well, unless you count those “5 second rule” tidbits.
    πŸ™‚

  2. These are great and I agree with most of them. My favorite on your list is about germs. I was never a “germaphobe” when it came to my son. I figured that if he was going to have to live in this world, then his little body would need to get used to the every day germs that he would come in contact with. So he did, and at 14 years old, he’s only been sick a handful of times his entire life.

  3. FABULOUS. I lapped this post up and it’s put me in a real good mood for today – cheers, Tric! I chucked out the appalling book about bringing up children when I reached a chapter entitiled “the silent education”… brrrrr. I tell visitors to keep their shoes on in my house, cos the white sock test always shows that the floor is dirty but I’m buggered if I’m going to wash floors all day. Family and blogging come first πŸ™‚

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