Holiday reflections.

I am back from my wonderful holiday,
I am refreshed,
I have enjoyed every minute.
I have also learned a thing of two about myself.

Lesson number one is,
I have too much rain drenched blood,
roaring through my body,
to cope with temperatures of over 90 degrees.
My favored phrase for the holiday,
repeated at least hourly was,
“Oh dear God, I’m roasted”.
The upshot of this was I spent ten minutes sunbathing,
and then it was back to the sea or pool.
On an average day I spent over four hours in water,
much to the delight of my children.

I also learned once more,
the joys of wearing a bikini!photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/photowolf/2951601697/">lone photowolf</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>
I mean who would not delight,
in showing off a body,
twenty years past it’s prime,
which cocooned four children,
and will never again have a flat stomach?

Each day I would wake up feeling great.
I was on holiday and rested.
It was time to get ready for the day.
Time to put on that bikini.
As I clicked that tricky bikini top catch,
I would look down approvingly,
and most of what should be held in place,
seemed to be.
The vision of me which I saw in my head,
was quite pleasing.
I would allow a small smile to begin.
“Not bad at all”, I would think.

Then fatal error I would look in the mirror.
In that moment I would wonder,
“Who the hell is that?”,
Surely not me, as I have a body to die for,
and am at least twenty years younger,
than the apparition before me.

Then as my young bikini wearing teenager,
struts in front of me,
her interest in gymnastics reflected in her perfect abs.
I would suck in my stomach for all I was worth.
Reality dawned.
I had to accept my perfect body is no more.
For the first time in months,
I was grateful my eldest daughter,
was not holidaying with us,
also strutting her stuff,
looking nothing like her mother.

However once away from that mirror,
I was a genius at self deceit.
I saw myself reflected,
in all those body beautifuls I saw everywhere.
I enjoyed each sun filled day,
as much as I ever did as a “young one”.
Completely uninhibited by my now more cuddly body.

The great thing about family holidays,
is that for the most part,
everyone is happy with the family aspect.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/2522498597/">mikebaird</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>
Throughout the ten days,
we spent so much time together.
We did things as a group,
I would have no chance of getting my kids to do,
if we were at home.
It ticked every box I could have wanted,
and will hopefully continue to bond us,
as we go our separate ways,
over the coming months.

So now we have returned home,
I’m sure you will be glad to know,
I have put away my bikini.
A wonderful time was had by all.
Many memories have flown home with us,
the majority of them bring smiles.
The airport dramas,
the fight with the car hire,
the horrendous roundabouts,
and driving on the wrong side of the road
to name but a few.
Some of those memories are however best left in Alicante,
such as the thought of me strutting my stuff,
looking “fabulous” in my bikini,
imagining I am something I am not!

I am definitely not the woman I used to be,
but then again would I want to be…..
Hell yes!

photo credit: lone photowolf via photopin cc
photo credit: mikebaird via photopin cc

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31 thoughts on “Holiday reflections.

  1. If that’s you in the bikini picture, Holy Shit! And I’m a woman. I thought maybe you’d sneaked in a model to portray the effect. Then I thought, and then I thought. And I’m still not sure. If that’s you I wouldn’t worry about your daughters. OK, this is now getting weird!
    Just want to affirm with you that what we see and what others see are not necessarily the same thing.
    And if that’s not you in the bikini pic I have a whole other set of problems to deal with. And if it is…. SHIT, I still have. :))))
    By the way, you owe me a lottery win, I believe. What happened to the guaranteed sunshine while you were away.? I demand a refund!
    And back to that pic. I would use that for my gravatar. Just sayin’. πŸ™‚ x

    1. I would love to pretend that that is in fact me but I’m afraid it is not! I did give credit for the photo at the bottom, but am delighted to know you and hopefully a lot of others do not take any notice of that!
      As for your lotto I do apologize it must be that that only works when we actually holiday in Ireland. In fact while we were in Spain there was an actual heatwave, such is our effect.
      However back to that picture, that is the way I think I look!!! πŸ™‚

      1. You and me both. I have the opposite of anorexia and poor self image when I look in the mirror. I think, ‘Shit. You’re hot.’.
        And then I see a photograph and the bubble bursts.

        I would post her anyway. πŸ˜‰

        Don’t worry about our deal. You’re still good for shares regardless of what God deems to be summer. Hugs! You’re back. x

  2. Welcome back! I’m impressed with the bikini situation.I haven’t worn any kind of swimsuit in public for years. I made a deal with myself about that and have been able to hold to it. πŸ™‚
    Anyway, glad you are back and thanks for stopping by.
    I sent my daughter to kindergarten today..2nd day was harder than the 1st for some reason..for me. She is having a great time. I worked at the school she is at and there are some difficult personalities there. If you have any thoughts on snotty women πŸ™‚ I could use some of your light- heartedness.
    Much love –
    L

    1. Well done you on the bikini front! Oh you poor thing. I am still bereft that my kids ever left me to go to playschool, or school and now another is leaving soon for university. It does not get any easier.
      As for snotty women, and teachers in time to come, I suppose the important thing is how your daughter interacts with, and her relationship or lack of, with them. Often playschool is about other children and for you other parents. I hope it all works out okay, but for me, even when i did not really appreciate certain women/men as long as my little ones were happy I could shut up. It is not easy though giving over your precious care to other influences.
      Now though many years later my kids barely remember playschool,(in other words those snotty women) if that is any help!

      1. Your lightness is always helpful. Her teacher is awesome. The parents are good. I just run in to a teacher I worked with and quit after holding my tongue for 2 months with her (to stay at home) I worked for many years before that. It is just uncomfortable and I am trying to think of something I can tell myself when I see her. The principal asked me to help in some other classes but then it is not about holding my tongue for my daughter..It’s just not necessary. I’ve decided just not to put myself in situations like that..like the bikinis!!
        Ok..I’m getting something Haha.

        1. Sometimes it is best to withdraw and not trouble trouble.Your health is of paramount importance. However you sound like you have grown strong. She is only one person. No better or worse than you. Rise above her. And if in doubt, look at your daughter, I bet she thinks you’re awesome, now its
          time for you to think it too!

  3. This post reminded me of a conversation with my old Italian Grandmother, maybe 18 years ago. She was in her mid 80’s at the time, and she told me, “Every morning I wake up, and I’m so happy that I’m not dead. I walk into the bathroom, knowing exactly what I look like, Then I look into the mirror and think ‘Who the hell is that old lady, and why is she standing in front of me?'”
    Who is the world wrote the rule that only skinny 20 somethings can wear bikinis?
    Good for you!!!!

    1. Ha ha. Just like you! I couldn’t just smile and say nothing though as this is cyber space. I wrote this when I came home but couldn’t resist the prompt yesterday. When I read your post I smiled. We are all the same! πŸ™‚

  4. (oops, it was sent instead of allowing me to edit!) vacation I meant…This was wonderful and funny!

    On a more serious note, there’s a wonderful photographer who is doing a project of photographing real mothers, and showing how beautiful women really are, un-photoshopped! Her name is Jade Beall and it’s abeautifulbodyproject.com if you want to check it out. (She also photographed my daughter and wrote about that, so I have a slight bias toward her work πŸ˜‰ )

    Glad you’re back!

    1. I already checked her out I think from your blog. I read the magnificent post featuring your daughter. It was really beautiful. A lovely memory for you to have I am sure. She seemed to capture not just her stunning looks but some of the essence that was your daughter. I thought it greatly matched what I have read of her to date. As you say a very talented lady.

  5. I’m with you on this body image thing, tric

    it’s the same with me

    I’d be the first to admit I no longer have a six pack

    Hell, I’ve even admit my tummy has a bit of a ‘curve’ to it

    But where does all that flab come from when I put my mankini on and look in the mirror?

  6. You made me crease up, there, Tric! When I wear a bikini, I look at the photos and see… my mother. In a bikini. Such is life… Maybe I’ll buy myself one of those stripy 1920’s cossies with legs on them. Or a scuba diving suit would do. Or maybe I can just accept myself the way I am… probably easier to accomplish?

    1. We had a ball and even days later still feel the better of it.A family holiday really is great fun. Taking a complete break from everything including blogging was very healthy. I am back enjoying it now as much as ever.You were very busy reading all my posts, you will have to have another few days off after you catch up on everyone.:)

      1. Hahaha I have been a reading mavin the last few days trying to catch up! I hated taking a break for so long (about a week) but it was necessary to help get feeling a little better. Almost caught up and quite proud of myself hahaha

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