Lighten Up, Be a Bad Mother and Reap the Rewards!

A mother holds up her child.
A mother holds up her child. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today I realized that after twenty one years of rearing a family, I have cracked the secret to “Good Health” and “Happiness”. Amazing, not just one secret but two!

I was looking around my messy house, whilst my children did what they do best,  create more mess, and it came to me.
It was like an epiphany!

I have been running this household for the past 21 years. Ok, I have a husband who brings in the money, pays the mortgage and all bills, puts food on the table, clothes the kids, funds college, after school activities and most importantly keeps me in wine, but thats his JOB! What has he actually achieved!

I on the other hand have managed to crack one of lifes great secrets.
The secret to Good health and happiness!

There must be some sort of award I could be nominated for?

I’m not selfish. I will not keep this to myself. Here are the keys to you too cracking the secret.

The key to Good Health is “Dirt, Germs and a Diet Lacking Anything Green”.
The key to Happiness is “Guiltless” or some might say “Bad” Parenting

My guidelines to “Good Health” as lived by in my house.

1. Get rid of your cleaner.
2. Stop changing sheets so regularly.
3. No need to vacumn under suites and hidden away places. Just do it if your mother in law is coming to visit.
4. Throw out all those germ eliminating products. just spray the air with polish if some one is calling by.
5. Can you see the dirt on the kitchen floor? No. Great it’s clean enough so.
6. Are all those clothes in the wash basket really dirty?
7. The five second rule is allowed. (unless you have visitors, then you tut tut and hurriedly pick up whatever dropped and bin it or wash it)
9. Avoid doctors. Paracetamol, a DVD and a duvet day work well.
10. If your children hate green foods, leave them in the supermarket. (not your children!).

key to Happiness ( lighten up.)

1. Does your baby really need to eat every bit of that “healthy” dinner? Maybe they can have two desserts just for today instead.?
2. If you pick your baby up because it’s crying, will it really become spoiled and impossible to rear?
3. If you choose to give your child a soother, will your laziness mean they need orthodontic work?
4. Just because your small child does not want another child to share the toy they are so enjoying, will they turn into selfish brats with no friends?
5.If your child is a little slow to walk, speak, or recite nursery rhymes, does that mean they will be under achievers all their lives?
6. If your little boy is fascinated by guns, will he be featuring on world headlines in years to come.
7. Just because your daughter hates dresses and your son loves barbies, will they have gender issues?
8. If your teenager is moody, detached and hanging around, does that mean they are on drugs and lost to you forever?

If you think the correct answer to all these “Happiness” questions is “Yes” then I’m afraid you have strayed to the wrong blog!
It is of course “No”.
We are reading too many “experts” and watching too many adds about germs.
Time to trust our own instincts.

So stop spending all that time cleaning. Dump the guilt. Relax. Enjoy the magic that is parenting.

I say “lighten up” be a “bad mother” and reap the rewards.

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16 thoughts on “Lighten Up, Be a Bad Mother and Reap the Rewards!

  1. Ah not really. Quite tongue in cheek, though I really do live by most of it! Hope social services don’t read it, or my mother in law! Thanks for the comment.

  2. My happy childhood came out of less than immaculate house. My kids happy childhoods are following quickly through the dust bunnies. (Though scary, the dust bunnies don’t actually hurt anyone.)
    That’s a long way of saying I love this post. Kudo’s to you for letting go of the guilt. I’m still working on that.
    Thanks for visiting my blog, http://memoriesinthewind.wordpress.com. I’m going to keep reading yours.

    Laura Hedgecock
    http://www.treasurechestofmemories.com

    1. I’m so sorry dont be upset but you were put in spam! I am sorry not to reply sooner. thanks for the comments. Heres to no dusting and happy kids!

  3. My mother says B+ is good enough – I apply this to every area of my life except school. And really, when it comes to dusting my house, I’m at about a D and perfectly fine with it 🙂 Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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