Hear ye. Hear ye. Listen up and I’ll give you the latest from the southern capital of Ireland on the Beast and Storm Emma.
As advised by those trained in weather forecasting, the country shut down today at 4pm. At precisely 3.59 pm, all over the country people raced in their driveways and slammed doors in anticipation of Storm Emma getting it on with the Beast.
It’s now 7.20pm and there’s not a whisper outside.
I did think a little while ago I saw two of the upper branches on one of our trees wave in a slight breeze but now I believe it was just myself swaying from exhaustion after looking out the window for the past few hours.
There have been local rumours that someone at the top of the village was hit on the head by a snowflake but seemingly it was only posted on snapchat and has since disappeared, as has the snowflake, so we cannot confirm this possible worrying development.
Having listened to the latest weather forecast meteorologists are standing by their predictions of massive snow and blizzards. However a worrying addition to their weather speak has been the introduction of phrases such as, ‘these storms are unpredictable,’ and ‘we do our best but things can change.’
Watching the news report tonight was a little embarrassing too as there were a group of American visitors interviewed on the deserted streets of one of our towns. They’d just come from some state in the U.S. where there was one and a half feet of snow. Behind them, if you looked real close, you could see a smattering of snow on the ground.
‘Do you think Ireland has gone a little over the top with our red alert over the beast?’ they were asked.
To be honest I didn’t hear what they actually said, but I now know what hysterical laughter sounds like.
Here in my own home, having been holed up together now for two full days, we have finished the emergency supplies. It’s true almost all chocolate and cakes are now gone. If this goes on we will have to actually open the bread and milk we bought because everyone else was buying it. Thankfully supplies of wine are good for at least another week.
I’d better leave you all now as I’ve not looked out the window for at least five minutes and it would kill me after all this waiting if I actually missed Emma.
Tune in again soon for another update on the most exciting weather event in Ireland in years and if you’re in Ireland, remember, don’t go out!