There I am in the paper #31.

What would you do if you found yourself alone, yes, alone in the house, not a child in sight! Here’s my article from last weeks Irish Examiner’s Feelgood supplement. I hope you enjoy it.

Forgive me but you will have to lean in close if you wish to read this as I’m whispering.  Why am I whispering you may wonder? Because, believe it or not, I am in the midst of a miraculous happening. In fact, if it were night, a blue moon would be shining brightly, as today for the first time in months I am home alone!

Oh, I can feel the envy of so many of you parents of young children as you read my news. Yes, it is true I’ve checked every room in the house, not once but twice and there is not one other human being at home. The stars have perfectly aligned and yer man and my four children have taken themselves off elsewhere. Where exactly is elsewhere? Who cares. All I know is it’s not here.

So with at least the next three hours to myself what on earth will I do? Looking around, I could fill an entire notebook with lists of jobs that need doing. There is plain and simple tidying up, which might actually take the three hours, or perhaps I could tackle the never ending laundry? Maybe I could surprise, or shock everyone by baking? Or, as it’s a blue moon I might even clean the windows?

But seriously, now that I’m alone in the house am I really going to spend my free time doing ‘jobs?’

Not a hope!  Instead I’ll celebrate this magical moment by boiling the kettle, because I’m already so overwhelmed by all I’m not doing photo credit: colorblindPICASO <a href="">I'm torn... on the one hand she has invaded the sanctity of my off recliner... on the other hand she is reading a book with two chicks on the cover and NO Fabio.  Fine, I will allow it.  But just this once.</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">(license)</a>that I need a cup of tea.The truth is that while having the house to myself should be a delight and in many ways it is, it comes accompanied by a truck load of guilt. As I wander into the kitchen to sit and relax, deafened by the lack of noise of any kind, I wrestle between making the most of my freedom and feeling like a lazy sod. Of course I know exactly who is to blame for such crushing guilt, my mother. After all are not our mothers the one person we can rely on to blame for everything not so great in our lives? I know my own children certainly believe so.

However, in this case I believe I’m well within my rights to blame my mum, as she is without doubt the busiest person I know. Most mornings I ring her from my dirty dishes laden kitchen, to hear such things as, “Just a minute there I must turn off the oven, I’m cooking a salmon and leek pie for lunch,” or she may tell me she is in the midst of cleaning out cupboards. It’s not even 9 am! Perhaps I’m adopted?

Don’t get me wrong though I was born a fighter and I regularly manage to dig deep and successfully battle my crushing guilt. However, even in such delightful moments I find it difficult to relax, so much so that upon hearing the postman  I can be seen leaping an Olympic height off the chair, before sprinting to retrieve the post. Or racing to answer the house phone, which only himself or my mother rings, “Hi, did you have to run, you sound out of breath?” to which I wheeze, “No I’m just exhausted as I’m in the middle of cleaning the bathroom.” Of course this is not my greatest lie as then I have to clean the bathroom!

So what will I do with my precious time today?  I suspect I will spend most of it planning on doing many things but in reality ending up doing very little.  Perhaps I just need more practice?

On a positive note it would appear from all evidence to date that it is unlikely any of my children have inherited my guilt affliction!

Photo credit: London Irish Graduate Network
photo credit: colorblindPICASO I’m torn… on the one hand she has invaded the sanctity of my off recliner… on the other hand she is reading a book with two chicks on the cover and NO Fabio. Fine, I will allow it. But just this once. via photopin (license)

5 thoughts on “There I am in the paper #31.

  1. I have this feeling that if this was me by the time I came to terms with what to do the kids would be needing to be picked up or would be coming through the door demanding food and where had I hidden their favourite pair of jeans. Thankfully now days I live with my youngest son who is happy to live in his space and avoid me most of the time except when he needs a lift or there is an issue with his computer. Enjoyed this post Tric, I do hope you were able to find something self-indulgent and enjoyable to do guilt free.

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