My thoughts on a page.

Ever feel like an outcast within your family? Do you notice that when you walk into a room it empties? Well that is my life at the moment. I know exactly when my family first began to treat me in this way but I think it’s about time everyone moved on.

You see last Friday night I was struck down. One minute I was going through Friday, making dinner, waiting in anticipation for that wondrous hour that is Friday night, when  I began to feel a little off. Not an ‘I’m tired’ off, more an ‘I wonder was that chicken I had today’ off?

The time ticked by and I did all in my power to will myself well. I reasoned that I am never sick. I was about ten years old the last time I was struck down, and that wasn’t today or yesterday. As time went by there were moments when I thought I’d imagined the nausea and pain in my stomach, only to know moments later, that they were real. As I was most definitely not pregnant, nor was I on chemotherapy or suffering any other sort of disease, it was looking ever more likely that something deadly had caught me.

Now at this stage I will most definitely not blame a great friend of mine who had been struck down earlier in the week. Sure that was only a coincidence? It was way more likely I caught it when out and about on my travels, maybe that one sneezing next to me in the bank zapped me, or perhaps the dog brought it in on her paws? Certainly not a gift from my friend!

And so it was that at approximately ten on Friday night the lights of the world went out for me. I made it upstairs before fainting and remained where I lay for the next hour, fainting and waking at various intervals, stretched out on the bathroom floor. I thought life as I knew it was over.

Why did I not call for my family to come to my aid? Oh dear you just don’t know my family do you? There is not a drop of the caring profession about them.

A few years ago, out of the blue I fainted (honestly it’s really not something I do regularly) It was late at night and my husband had already gone to bed. My son came into the sitting room to say goodnight and saw me lying on the floor, moments after having regained consciousness. Was he stunned, frightened, worried? Did he leap to my aid and check my airway and breathing? Nope. In my confused state I heard him say, ‘Goodnight mum’, as if he seeing me passed out on the floor was the most natural thing in the world! After a time I managed to drag myself up the stairs to bed, but began to wonder why I’d passed out. There seemed to be no reason for it. So, just in case epilepsy had suddenly arrived in my life, or I was having some sort of neurological event, I decided it would be prudent to wake my other half. I explained to him I’d fainted downstairs and that I was a little bit worried. He looked at me through half opened eyes, kissed me and said, ‘Oh that’s good darling’, and went back to sleep.

It would be unfair to say I got no care last Friday night as I lay there. My other half did appear and was shocked for a moment. However as soon as he heard the words, ‘twenty four hour bug’ all changed.

“Do you want anything?” he asked.

“Could you pass me a cloth, please?” I weakly murmur.

Whack, a damp cloth lands on my face having been thrown from a very safe distance.

When I eventually made it back to bed my family did make some effort to show they cared, as they shouted messages through the door,

“Night mum”, “Hope you’re okay mum”.

At all times they were very careful to never ask a question which might mean having to enter the room.Thankfully,
the twenty four hours ticked by and I made a full recovery. You would think my troubles would be over. Not as far as my loving family were concerned. The problem is that I’m not one to normally get sick, so it’s been decided that this must be a truly deadly virus indeed. It matters not that I’m in great form and Friday is but a distant memory as I am very definitely continuing to get the cold shoulder from those around me.

But they are softening. My other half did give me a kiss on the forehead a while ago so fingers crossed they will be back to loving me again soon.

Now for the fun of watching, as they develop fake symptoms on an hourly basis. Who will fall first? We will have to wait and see, but lucky for them the nurse not the accountant is here to look after them.