Am I the only one?

Am I the only one who is terrified by New year,
and the prospect of all it may bring?

Am I the only one who sings ‘Auld Lang Syne’ in tears,New Year
missing those who are gone?

Am I the only one afraid to look down the road of 2015,
fearing what I might see?

Am I the only one who worries that this might be the year,
the year my life changes for ever?

Am I the only one who doesn’t plan for better,
but is perfectly happy with now?

Am I the only one who wishes for a boring year,
of days filled with ‘normal’?

Am I really the only one?

22 thoughts on “Am I the only one?

  1. Life is a maze of emotions and various cognitions. To dream is to aspire. To think is to feel and to fear is to care. We need the fear to motivate us and keep us self-aware πŸ™‚

    1. I’m afraid they sit on my shoulder Eric, especially at New Year. I hope that 2016 shows very little change in my family circle, but I can’t guarantee it so I prefer to just enjoy each day, and try not to put 365 of them ahead of me.

  2. like eric, i try not to live with worry and fear and to live in the now, anticipating the future to bring positives. sometimes it can be challenging to do this, when wounds feel open and fresh, no matter the timeline.

    1. I just noticed I missed replying to your comment! Once New Years Eve is over I too become more optimistic, but NYE I must admit I feel fear in case all is about to change. Hope our optimism is well rewarded this year beth.

  3. it may be different now but when I lived in Scotland New Year was a more important celebration than xmas

    it still is to me

    I still get that feeling of ‘release’ that another year is behind me, that whatever shitty things happened are now in the past, and a new year beckons, fresh and full of promise and surprises

    [of course I may view the new year with a degree of trepidation about what it may have in store for me the closer I get to my death bed] πŸ˜†

    1. Actually Daniels Mom said the same last year, she was delighted to say goodbye to what will always be the worst year of her life.
      I did think of that this year, but old habits die hard.
      There’s no fear of you, the devil looks after his own. πŸ™‚

    1. Yes C.J agreed. It’s just the night that is freaky, and then when we wake up we realise it’s just another day.
      Happy New Year, I hope you have a good one.

  4. Hi tric. When your three buddies ( Theresa , olive and Maureen were sitting in Starbucks in Kildare village having a coffee olive asked the question. Here we are again one year later ?what do you think our lives or how do you think they will be this time nxt year? I answered by saying. Olive if I’m sitting here having a coffee with you and my life is the exact same. I’ll be very happy because all my family will be healthy and happy and that’s all that matters to me. ( and maybe a director for par savers. Ha !!! ).

    1. Yes Theresa we share a common trait. We are both so ambitious for what the new year may bring….. Not!
      See you this time next year for that cuppa, and many more in between.

  5. I’m with you, Tric. Fear that the road ahead will bring more hurtles I have to jump and fear what could possibly lie ahead of me. Lots of unknowns and i think the change of the year is just sad for all the reasons you mention. xx

    1. Yes fear is the correct word. I think especially after a difficult year, or in your case, terrible loss, it colours our optimism. We no longer think’It won’t happen to me’, or ‘Why me?” and move on to ‘Why not me?’ so anything is possible.
      I do hope though that we both had a good 2015, and you continue to heal, one day at a time.

  6. Hi Tric, no fear, rather very mixed emotion about January as it is punctuated with anniversaries of people I truly loved and ends with my late Mother’s birthday which was a very big event once.
    However, I revel in the longer days and the first sign of snowdrops, the bravest flowers of them all.
    New Years are soo hyped up, I’ve left that well behind!

    1. I do the same. I look forward to spring and Easter in particular, I love to see the garden wake up and the colours of the landscape brighten. But first I have to get over that night, New Year, where a whole year lies before me and I wonder and fear what it may bring.
      However I am a naturally happy person, so I work hard to limit the time I dwell on those thoughts. Now we are into January it is one day at a time, and I’m enjoying each one.

  7. I wish I could say that I’m not sad because New Year’s Eve is the most dreaded day of the year for me. This quote is what I strive to live by today–Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin is serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Each day is a new year to me…full of worry about what can happen. I’m beginning to have a small degree of anticipation for any blessings, happiness, laughter, or growth—but the old habit is a bit of a challenge.

    1. Thanks a mil. And right back at you. You and your family are due a share of good luck this year.
      I find once the year begins I go back to my optimistic self. It is just on New Years night where I look back and forward and I fear all may be about to change.

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