It is with dismay I must let you all know that I did not win an award for Best Personal Blog at the Irish Blog Awards! How did I take the news? Well the words ‘Feck’, ‘Ah feck it’, and ‘For fecks sake, lost again’ featured foremost in my mind. In fact I had to struggle to remember not to say them out loud. On a positive note I had identified who would win and I was right. For those of you interested the winner was With all the finesse of a badger.
As a child I didn’t do rejection well. My younger brother was a real ‘dote’, a ‘pure pet’, and I was most certainly not. He had charm in spades and readily pleased everyone. Both characteristics I lacked. So I learned to huff and puff and annoy everyone in my attempt to be heard. As you can imagine that is not how you go about becoming a child everyone enjoys being around. However as he and I were best pals, I learned to ignore all the love he received. Maybe to get some sort of upper hand I ensured he knew I was the older sister, the one in charge, as we played together. A role he never fought me over. A wise decision on his part, or just another example of his ‘charm’, I’m not sure.
In life I am not one to lie under the rejection bus when it passes. Whenever it did hit me, I was rarely floored. Usually I would spend a small amount of time ‘fecking it’, and then I’d gather myself, stand up, and start all over again.
So my fecking that I didn’t win an award again is done. (Well just give me one more minute… feck, feck, feck, feck, feck) Okay, I didn’t win. I am now over it, and ready to begin again, or at least to continue on as before.
There was actually one very big positive note which came out of Saturday night. For the first time ever I met people who I ‘knew’ online. So many people. I was very nervous before meeting them, and in dire need of a bit of courage in the form of a pre meeting drink. However I was staying in my Mums house and I wanted to be the good daughter she
thinks knows me to be! So stone cold sober I got into the car of a complete stranger (mind the baby) and another fellow blogger (proper fud) and off we went, chatting as if we knew each other. We arrived late, but thankfully three seats had been kept for us by fellow Irish Parenting Bloggers. As I scanned the faces of those seated around me, it was great to see so many ‘familiar’ ones. I had to hold myself back not to run up to them and greet them as the ‘friends’ I imagine them to be, so maybe it was lucky I didn’t have that pre drink. Happily I was at ease very quickly, and they really were as good in real life as they are online. Now days later I am so delighted to have actually met them. For this alone the awards night was well worth being a part of.
Over the course of the night many of us were not called out to accept trophies. However there were exceptions. Mama.ie won best parenting blog and was such a worthy winner. As well as her blog this amazing lady set up the Irish parenting bloggers group, which continues to grow and whose facebook group I enjoy enormously. A mighty roar went up from all of us as she was announced. It was good to see this unassuming lady, ‘The Boss’ awarded. Another winner was ‘Sunny spells and scattered showers’. This is an amazing blog about mental health, and a very deserved winner. Finally there was the award for best blog post. What an effort had gone into getting to the final of this one. The top ten posts were selected by public vote, so bloggers had to ask facebook followers, blog followers, family and friends to vote every week to keep them in this competition. It went down to the wire, with single votes at one stage between some of those in the running. The top ten with the highest votes were then judged by a panel of judges. I was exhausted looking at the efforts it took to qualify. Finally after the long battle the post of ‘Beating myself into a dress‘ won. Great credit to her, and to all who made that top ten.
So the night is over. No more judging or being judged. It is back to the laptop for me. Back to the wondering where I will go from here? To wondering what I really want to do with my writing? And to wondering what exactly are my goals going forward?
I’m not sure what the future holds for my writing long term, but what I am sure is that for now I’ll continue as I am. Writing ‘My thoughts on a page’, and enjoying the many online friendships I’ve developed over the past eighteen months. As for third time lucky, it is too early to decide if I will enter the fray again next year. Thankfully there is a whole lot of writing to be done between now and then.
Oh, and one last thing, just in case you are still not quite sure how I really feel. Feck, feck, feck, feck, feck. For fecks sake, I lost…. again!