I have occasionally pondered whilst listening to the radio,
what I would do if I saw lipstick on my husbands collar,
or began to suspect he was up to no good?
I have listened to these tales of deceit and wondered.
How could you miss the signs for so long?
How could you not suspect something was not quite right.?
Then out of the blue it struck me, last night as I was brushing my teeth,
(and admiring my face in the mirror,)
I am one of those people.
For as long as I know there are certain things happening,
right here within my own house which I do not even question.
Last night as I looked at my bathroom shelf,
it hit me like a slap.
There are six people living in my house.
Yet for as long as I can remember,
there are many more than six toothbrushes on the bathroom shelf.
Why have I never wondered,
“Where are the owners of these toothbrushes?”,
“What is going on?”
It now all makes sense.
All those dirty plates,
discarded around the house,
which everybody denied was theirs.
The dirty footprints on the carpet.
The sweet wrappers down the side of the couch.
The mess in the bathroom,
and the lights left on at night,
these happenings which were always denied by all,
are now explained.
Somewhere in our not substantial house,
lives a whole family we have never met!
I get it. I really do. The relief.
My darling children really are darlings.
Not the lying toerags I have accused them of being,
on an almost daily basis.
As I enlightened my children to my theory,
they were delighted,
with shouts of “I told you it wasn’t me”.
and “There’s the answer mum!”.
Now I hope they too will understand,
the extent of the mysteries within this house.
In fact it is my understanding,
that these mysteries work both ways.
“Darling of course I made dinner,
I just can’t understand where it went”.
“Yes I’m sure I ironed your shirt”.
“I would never put your special top in the tumble dryer,
it would only shrink!”.
It’s all a mystery to me.
I suspect if we find the owners of the toothbrushes,
we may solve the mysteries.