Why are we still together?

Do you remember when you first fell in love? Did you feel as if you were spinning, lightheaded and on top of the world? Did your love last?

I was still a teenager when I met my now husband. A lifetime of water has passed under the bridge since then. We have lived through many highs and lows. Shared the joys of giving birth to four children, and all the difficulties and pleasures parenting them brings. We have been torn apart by grief and have on occasions had great rows, most of which we now cannot remember the ‘why’ of.

So after all these years do we still get in a spin when we think of each other? Do we feel any of those heady feelings of an early love? What keeps us together?photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/simonnpowell/8731349956/">Simon Daniel Photography</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a

Last Saturday my husband and I traveled to a family wedding. The thought of which was all consuming last week. Flights and hotels to be confirmed, not to mention the dread I felt about what I would wear. I am very much a jeans kind of girl, and dressing up is really not my ‘thing’. However a dress, shoes and even a handbag were borrowed, and off we flew, a weekend of partying to begin.

As predicted the weekend was all we could have wanted and more. However, the elements of it that were all I had thought about in the weeks before, are not in fact what I remember foremost in my mind tonight as I look back. It is not the laughter, the time alone with my husband, the meeting of family, the visiting of a new city, nor the break away, which fill my heart tonight as I look back fondly on the past few days.

It is something very different.

It is something that was said during the wedding ceremony. Words these two young people, about to begin a life together, said to each other, and they are playing on a loop in my head ever since.

As they were about to marry, the reverend recalled a conversation he had with them on his first meeting. He had asked what were the qualities they liked in each other and what did they get from each other. Words such as kind, loyal, caring and honest were used as they described each others attributes.

Then the bride said of her young husband to be, ‘He makes me better’.
Separately her husband to be said, ‘She makes me what I am meant to be’.

As I listened my mind stilled, and those words echoed, over and over again. ‘He makes me better’, ‘She makes me what I am meant to be’.

On occasions I have wondered about my own marriage. What it is that keeps us together? What itΒ isΒ that has allowed us to remain friends and partners for over two decades? Finally, this weekend I believe I have found the answer, for myself anyway.

‘He makes me better’. ‘He makes me what I am meant to be’.


photo credit: Simon Daniel Photography via photopin <a

27 thoughts on “Why are we still together?

    1. Thanks. Glad you liked it. Maybe it’ll buzz around your head now too.
      Mind you now I’ve posted I’m back to thinking ‘What an eejit’. Maybe I’ll suggest he read my post some day, and I can imagine him saying, ‘Did they really say that?’.

  1. Resonating words, this are, and true. After I was done reading, I sought my husband, gave him a hearty/meaningful kiss+hug. Thanks for sharing.

  2. You know what? Even though my marriage didn’t last, she still had the same affect on me till the end. Her voice would calm me and make the dark clouds disappear. I enjoyed just being around her even if I was reading a book and she was putzing around in the kitchen or on the computer. The marriage may have ended but my love for her didn’t.

  3. Oh yes, I can relate. Our anniversary is coming up.. 14 years.. but we have known each other much longer. Always good to stop by. Sometimes I get a little reminder it has been too long when I see your gravatar photo. πŸ™‚ Have a really good day. Love ❀ Laurie

    1. Happy almost anniversary!
      I do stop by yours fairly regularly, but I am often just browsing with my phone, so don’t comment or like.
      Hope all is good in your world.

  4. EXACTLY!! The frustrations of daily life manifest themselves into consuming our lives, disappointments arise, but he made me better and I wanted to be better for him…. Thanks for the great post!

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