It’s winter in Ireland, a time of rain, gales and cold weather.
Viruses and illness are everywhere.
Similar to flue and swine flue, this country is in the midst of an epidemic.
It began slowly two weeks ago and has now peaked.
It is called Garth Brooks fever.
I have been struck down. Badly.
The symptoms are not subtle.
They involve the desire to find a lighter or match to light up,
and wave around whilst swaying and singing “The dance” or “unanswered prayers”.
The need to sing at the top of my voice at home continuously.
Thinking that the name Garth is more than a little perfect.
Noting the smiles of fellow shoppers as unaware I sing loudly in public that,
“I’ve got friends in low places”, with a pronounced American country music accent.
Today however my fever took a terrible turn.
The tickets were released for his shows in July.
I failed to get any. Not even one!
I am gutted.
My loud singing is but a whisper.
I cannot accept it. So I have taken a new tack.
I have entered numerous competitions on the radio.. no luck.
As my name is not announced I feel absolute hatred towards those who do win.
Then I thought I might try to buy tickets off the internet,
but they are so dear I’ll have to sell the car, and that’s just not practical.
So as a final desperate measure I tweeted my interest.
“I will swap my family for Garth Brook tickets”.
It did get retweeted but as yet no luck.
I am still hopeful so just in case I have their washing up to date.
A cousin of mine expressed concern on facebook, that if it were known we were related,
there could be people who would give their eye teeth and the tickets for such a family.
I’m quite happy to let them all go.
So watch this space.
I am willing to throw the dog in too.
Maybe I should tweet that as an update.
I’ll keep you posted but just in case you don’t know who I am talking about,
I’ll leave you with God Garth as he sings “The Dance”
Now where’s that lighter!