Last night I didn’t make a holy show of myself. I didn’t die of a broken heart nor did I embarrass myself in any way, but rest assured I felt like it.
For last night my husband and I walked our youngest in the door of her primary school for her graduation. Our final graduation ceremony. The link between our family and this wonderful school was to be broken after nineteen years.
As we walked along I saw us from a distance, he a little more grey, me fitting the part of an older mother, and she, with a bounce in her step, taller than myself, itching to begin the night. I tightened my grip on her hand as I thought, ‘it’s finally here’.
Of course this time of new beginnings is a thing to celebrate. Our beautiful, youngest daughter moving on to start a new and exciting chapter in her life. However this was also an ending. Eight years before this child of ours had held our hands and entered this school. It had taught her all it should, but it had also nourished her, supported her in hard times, celebrated her successes, and encouraged her to be proud of who she is. It had been a very important part of her childhood, a part she had now outgrown.
During the night I watched my confident child mix with her friends, sing a duet, dance with her dad, laugh with myself. There was just one moment as her year sang Hannah Montana’s song ‘I’ll always rememeber you’ where I felt the tears sting. Biting my tongue and fighting hard I managed to ignore the cries in my heart, but not before my little one had spotted my weakness. I watched as her smile faded and for a moment she heard and felt the words she was singing, but a wink and a thumbs up from me, and she too managed to give those thoughts the push.
At a late hour we bid our goodbyes and left the school. I didn’t think about all we were saying goodbye to, nor the fact that we would never again be attending one of our children’s nights in this school, instead I listened to the chattering of my baby and felt her delight. 
I’ll wait until Tuesday to let my tears flow, for that is the day himself and myself will gather to watch our youngest and her pals walk through the guard of honour and out of junior school forever. I can’t promise I’ll not make a holy show of myself, but I’ll try not to at least.
Here are the lyrics for ‘I’ll always remember you’. I think you’ll agree they were very apt for the night that was in it.
“I’ll Always Remember You”
I always knew this day would come
We’d be standing one by one
With our future in our hands
So many dreams so many plans
I always knew after all these years
There’d be laughter there’d be tears
But never thought that I’d walk away
With so much joy but so much pain
And it’s so hard to say goodbye
But yesterday’s gone we gotta keep moving on
I’m so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya
The times that we had I’ll keep like a photograph
And hold you in my heart forever
I’ll always remember you
Nanananana
Another chapter in the book cant go back but you can look
And there we are on every page
Memories I’ll always save
Up ahead only open doors
Who knows what we’re heading towards
I wish you love I wish you luck
For you the world just opens up
But it’s so hard to say goodbye
Yesterday’s gone we gotta keep moving on
I’m so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya
The times that we had I’ll keep like a photograph
And hold you in my heart forever
I’ll always remember you
photo credit: GlacierTim via photopin cc
photo credit: via photopin (license)
My thoughts on a page. 
Lovely, Tric. More to come, more to come, more to let go.
Yes it’s lovely to give life to your child and see them begin to live their own life, even if that leaves you a bit redundant.
I feel for you truly. Perhaps you’ll become a grandparent somewhere in the future– perhaps many times over. You’ll go from being redundant to a super-necessary lifesaver! That’s where I am now – enjoying it all over again 😉
Seeing my best friend have a grandchild, made me realise how wonderful it is. I know my gang are not thinking that way but you never know, and that day will come. How I will enjoy it, as I’m sure you do.
ah, another beautiful chapter, and on to many more )
Yes, and how she will enjoy it all. For this is one young lady who lives life to the max.
What a beautiful post! Congratulations to you and your lovely daughter.
Thank you. She is all excited, and just a little bit sad beneath it all.
They grow up so fast!
Mine is about to start Pre-k this fall. Our journey is now beginning so I hope we remember to stop and savor the sweet moments.
Lovely post!
Oh do take a bit of time every now and then to enjoy the moment. Although I know it’s not always easy, or fun.
I’ve been rewarding her with little surprises for good behavior lately. The look on her face is usually priceless and in turn encourages more good behavior.
Today I surprised her with a few goodies I rarely buy and she was on cloud nine. It felt good having a fun, loving day with her as opposed to her acting up and me yelling. I think it helped that I had a boatload of patience today, tomorrow might be a different story 🙂
Well done you. I’m out the other end and positive parenting wins every time. It’s hard to do sometimes but it gets easier all the time. My fourth has been a pleasure. Not because she was an amazing child but because I was a better mother. Hope today is just as good for you.
Thank you for the encouragement. Hope you’re having a wonderful day also 🙂
To more and more and more. 🙂 ❤
Yes especially as an early teen there are so many new adventures ahead.
She has a universe of experiences waiting. 🙂
Moms are never redundant. We might not see it but we never (well, rarely) leave their thoughts and their hearts. She is going on to new adventures and you’ll be with her every step of the way!
Aw thanks. I’ve just kissed her goodnight and she is so excited that she has only three hours of primary school left. Her excitment is catching.
The last one seems to be the most difficult to watch them move on to new chapters.
Yes, everything is more poignant knowing it’s almost over. Waaahhh. 🙂
😦