You are what your mother thinks you are!

When a baby is born we marvel at how perfect they are. We delight in their tiny hands and feet, the perfect fingers and the tiny fingernails.

However within a very short period of time we begin to label that small baby. ‘Oh she’s a slob’ or  ‘she’s  photo credit: Martin Gommel via photopin ccdemanding’. We also decide from a very early age who this tiny tot takes after. ‘Shes laid back like her mom’.

As we grow up these labels stick. It is almost impossible to lose them no matter how hard we try.  How do I know this? Because I have been trying to be re labeled for many years.

I hear you wondering what my label is?

i am generally thought of by my family to be scatty, disorganised, and in general a disaster.

Now I have managed to safely rear my own four children, qualify as a nurse, and live a productive life. Among my friends I am often asked to give advice  and have been regularly trusted with other children, so I have to say I do not agree with my labels. Even after all these years I live in hope that I may one day change my families mind, and I’d especially love to change my mothers mind!

Tonight I am once again at home in Dublin. I have had a wonderful day, meeting an old friend and enjoying endless cups of tea with my mom. Sometimes I look at her and I imagine I am a step closer to shaking off that label.

However tonight I might have slipped up slightly.

It was getting a little cool earlier so I decided to put on my  jumper. I went out to  the car to bring in my overnight case only to discover it is still sitting at home in my hall!

As you can imagine when I shared the discovery with my mom she said “Ah Patricia you’re a disaster!”

oh well at least I gave her a good laugh.

****Please forgive all typos as I’m am using an IPad and it and me are not pals!

photo credit  martin Gomel

33 thoughts on “You are what your mother thinks you are!

  1. In that case I am a TOTAL disaster! I won’t list how many things I have forgotten this week… but at least I have not forgotten any children… yet 😉 Hope you are enjoying your time home… despite the disaster 😉

  2. I road a train from my home in California to visit family in Oregon. When I saw them at the station, I got so excited! We hugged, kissed, jumped all around and then got in the car and drove quite a long distance to their house; leaving my suitcase sitting on the platform. It was a big shock when I was going to get ready for bed, and no suitcase. So, I sympathize. Easy thing to do.

    1. Back home again C.J. just a flying visit. I really enjoyed it. There is something about the Dubs which I love. They are so up front and straight.

    1. And we do them. As I wrote this I thought of how we also judge or label our parents,and each child sees them differently.
      I label my mom as “Amazing”.

  3. This is the scariest thing I’ve read all day: “You are what your mother thinks you are!”

    You must be having fun – enjoy!

    1. Up to a few years ago I hurt too at times, but now I am so comfortable with who I am, and I enjoy the fact that my mom thinks this of me.
      I also think that over time she has also begun to know I am more than this too. Or maybe that is just wishful thinking!
      I have learned though that it is v v hard to change your label. Sorry yours hurts.

  4. it’s funny how we fall into the old roles no matter how old we are. my mother is gone now, so i don’t have to worry about it anymore, but the last time my sister was visiting, i took her to the airport 24 hours early, so……

      1. i fall more on the scatty side, and my sister too, and we both wanted to make sure she was there on time, we were not going to be late this time! well, at least we weren’t )

  5. This happened a long time ago, back when I was in college, but I still haven’t lived it down: I went home for the Christmas break when we had several weeks off. I had packed all my clothes in one of those hanging carriers…and left it hanging on the back of my door so it never made it in the car with me. To this day my mom accuses me of deliberately forgetting it so she could take me shopping for new clothes! Maybe subconsciously?? We still get a good laugh out of that…and I did get some really cool new clothes out of the ordeal! So you’re not alone Tric. Labels, be damned!

  6. Oh yeah, you’re a total disaster (I hope you can hear my sarcasm through the computer). I, too, am labeled disaster by my Mom. Disorganized. Unfortunately she’s right in my case, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I wear the badge proudly.

    1. I suppose in many ways she is right about me too. I find around her I am even worse than normal.
      Like you I have begun to wear my badge with pride too.

  7. I don’t know which is harder…to live up to your ‘label’ it to lose it! In my family everyone thinks I’m the organised one but that comes with huge pressure to always be organised…I’d love sometimes to be ‘the scatterbrain’ ( my younger sisters label) it means the expectation is so low that actual basics are considered an achievement!!

    1. Your comment really struck me. I have a great label. Very little is expected of me, so I don’t have a lot to live up to. Mind you that probably makes it worse that they think I’m a disaster!
      Oh well, I know I am amazing. 🙂
      Are you as organised as they think? I mean is your label correct?

      1. I used to be super organised but less so now with 4 little ones, and yet the expectation remains, even when I go home with all of them I get comments like ‘sure Elizabeth is great, she never leaves anything behind/forgets anything etc…it’s silly but I feel alot of pressure to measure up!!

        1. I never before thought of it like this. I can definitely say my label does not put any pressure what so ever on me.
          You know what Elizabeth, I’m a whole lot happier with it now. 🙂
          Maybe you can start messing up and see if you can break free.

  8. Tric, I really enjoyed this post and could so relate. I have “labeled” my children too and have struggled to live down the labels my mother gave me growing up. Since I have sat with psychologists and had several years of therapy it has helped. When I once repeated one of my labels (selfish) to a therapist, he asked me “whose voice that was” that was telling me I was selfish? I said, “my mother”. It has made a profound impact on me throughout life – to know whose voice was accusing me of certain personality traits – some accurate, some not so accurate.

    Thanks for sharing and making light of a very common thing that we do.

    1. i am glad you enjoyed it. I do think some labels are not very helpful to us in later life,and others completely inaccurate,.
      For myself I have come to realise my family and some others think of my label in an affectionate way.
      Selfish is a rather cruel label, especially for a mother to give a child.

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