For those of you who are not Irish, that reads as “Technology sometimes lets you down”. In other words technology would drive you feckin mad at times.
In the past twenty four hours I have been more than a little disappointed by it’s shortcomings.
Take last night for example. I came home from a night out and happily boiled the kettle for a late night cuppa, ( to wash down the few vinos I had enjoyed with the girls). While waiting for it to boil I went upstairs to put on the electric blanket which is on my side of the bed.
When I returned to make the tea there was copious surface water all over the counter…. kettle leaking. There was nothing for it only to boil some water in a saucepan. It was like stepping back in time.
Having sat and relaxed (and maybe nodded off) I made my way to bed. As I was just about to get in, imagining the warm blanket, my husband opened one eye and muttered, “Bad news, your blanket is not working”. The enormity of what he said was lost to me initially, but I sobered up fast when I got into that cold bed. So much so that I jumped straight out again!
I checked the plug and the connection but they were both intact. I then, for some inexplicable reason, turned it up as high as possible, and got back into the freezing bed, using my imagination to pretend it was working.
I pulled out my ereader to try and take my mind off how cold I was, but sweet Jesus, the damn thing needed to be recharged. Out of bed I went again, searching for the charger. When I returned to bed I was colder than ever and very sober. It was right then I came up with the term “technofeckinology”.
Today I got up and almost forgot about the previous nights disasters. I had agreed to help a friend of mine occasionally in a golf shop. I have never worked in retail before, but I’ve watched shopkeepers for years as I stood in line and typed in my PIN number. It didn’t look very difficult to me. So as my friend instructed me in the ways of the till yesterday, I may have only half listened.
I began today, my first day, filled with confidence. As the customers came and went we chatted and oh wow at last a sale. I looked at the till and my mind went blank. I looked at the customer with trepidation as I asked “cash or credit card?” (please say cash, say cash, oh God please say cash) and she did! Phew. The sale went perfectly. She’d never have guessed it was my first day.
The afternoon flew and everyone wanted to pay by cash. At last I was on the home run, half an hour to go, and then it happened “I’ll pay by card thank you”, “Oh no problem”, I smile. I try to sound knowing and I begin to tap away on the till, then I press credit card. BEEEEEEP. Yikes I try again BEEEEEEP. I look at the customer and apologise. “Sorry about this, just a minute”, I say. I decide to press a few more buttons in the hope that it will work. It beeps like mad with every button pressed and then as I look at the screen it lights up with a message “Call manager”. Feck there is no manager. The customer reads it and looks at me. I cannot lie “Ha would you ever believe that this is my first day?”, I say. Thankfully she laughs and then says, “Do you know what, I’ll go over to the cash machine and get some cash instead”, and off she goes. When she returns to the shop I apologise profusely and she pays for her goods the old fashioned way.
I eventually managed to close up and joy of joys when you take into account all my “voids” my till balanced. I set off for home having enjoyed my new venture. As we all sat to eat our dinner I filled everyone in on what I thought of technofeckinology. As I finished my rant my eldest turned to me and said, “So you wont be using that modern technology to try to get tickets for the newly announced extra Garth Brooks date which come on sale at 9am tomorrow”
You bet I’ll be using it. Tomorrow 9am, me and three lap tops will be poised at the ready. I just hope it doesn’t let me down.