Technofeckinology!

For those of you who are not Irish, that reads as “Technology sometimes lets you down”. In other words technology would drive you feckin mad at times.
In the past twenty four hours I have been more than a little disappointed by it’s shortcomings.photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/x-ray_delta_one/4665388030/">x-ray delta one</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">cc</a>

Take last night for example. I came home from a night out and happily boiled the kettle for a late night cuppa, ( to wash down the few vinos I had enjoyed with the girls). While waiting for it to boil I went upstairs to put on the electric blanket which is on my side of the bed.
When I returned to make the tea there was copious surface water all over the counter…. kettle leaking. Β There was nothing for it only to boil some water in a saucepan. It was like stepping back in time.

Having sat and relaxed (and maybe nodded off) I made my way to bed. As I was just about to get in, imagining the warm blanket, my husband opened one eye and muttered, “Bad news, your blanket is not working”. The enormity of what he said was lost to me initially, but I sobered up fast when I got into that cold bed. So much so that I jumped straight out again!
I checked the plug and the connection but they were both intact. I then, for some inexplicable reason, turned it up as high as possible, and got back into the freezing bed, using my imagination to pretend it was working.
I pulled out my ereader to try and take my mind off how cold I was, but sweet Jesus, the damn thing needed to be recharged. Out of bed I went again, searching for the charger. When I returned to bed I was colder than ever and very sober. It was right then I came up with the term “technofeckinology”.

Today I got up and almost forgot about the previous nights disasters. I had agreed to help a friend of mine occasionally in a golf shop. I have never worked in retail before, but I’ve watched shopkeepers for years as I stood in line and typed in my PIN number. It didn’t look very difficult to me. So as my friend instructed me in the ways of the till yesterday, I may have only half listened.

I began today, my first day, filled with confidence. As the customers came and went we chatted and oh wow at last a sale. I looked at the till and my mind went blank. I looked at the customer with trepidation as I asked “cash or credit card?” (please say cash, say cash, oh God please say cash) and she did! Phew. The sale went perfectly. She’d never have guessed it was my first day.

The afternoon flew and everyone wanted to pay by cash. At last I was on the home run, half an hour to go, and then it happened “I’ll pay by card thank you”, “Oh no problem”, I smile. I try to sound knowing and I begin to tap away on the till, then I press credit photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/leff/3874343/">leff</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">cc</a>card. BEEEEEEP. Yikes I try again BEEEEEEP. I look at the customer and apologise. “Sorry about this, just a minute”, I say. I decide to press a few more buttons in the hope that it will work. It beeps like mad with every button pressed and then as I look at the screen it lights up with a message “Call manager”. Feck there is no manager. The customer reads it and looks at me. I cannot lie “Ha would you ever believe that this is my first day?”, I say. Thankfully she laughs and then says, “Do you know what, I’ll go over to the cash machine and get some cash instead”, and off she goes. When she returns to the shop I apologise profusely and she pays for her goods the old fashioned way.

I eventually managed to close up and joy of joys when you take into account all my “voids” my till balanced. I set off for home having enjoyed my new venture. As we all sat to eat our dinner I filled everyone in on what I thought of technofeckinology. As I finished my rant my eldest turned to me and said, “So you wont be using that modern technology to try to get tickets for the newly announced extra Garth Brooks date which come on sale at 9am tomorrow”

You bet I’ll be using it. Tomorrow 9am, me and three lap tops will be poised at the ready. I just hope it doesn’t let me down.
Fingers crossed.

photo credit: x-ray delta one via photopin cc
photo credit: leff via photopin cc

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34 thoughts on “Technofeckinology!

  1. Loved this post and your new word. My life is surrounded by technology, we both have Iphones, Ipads, and laptops. Plus we have a regular desktop and an Apple touch screen. I still don’t know why we have not upgraded to a wireless printer with all these devices. That is just at home, I have 18 computers at work that I make sure are running correctly too. I can only say Thank Goodness we have an IT person we can call to come and make it all better when something goes wrong with the work computers.

  2. This is so timely. My 6-year old laptop is on the fritz and I find myself in the not so enviable position of having to get another one. This week. Which will entail learning a whole new operating system. I have to do quickly because this laptop is taking literally 3 minutes to download a new website every time I open a new page. Horrors! Can you remember a time when actually didn’t have computers? And three minutes of our time was a luxury to wait peacefully and think and daydream? Yoiks! I’m not Irish yet I understood the word the moment I saw it. Technofeckinology. It’s messed with our brains, it has!

    1. Well Susan, you can be an honorary Irishwoman when you get your new laptop and it drives you insane and you can be heard to roar Technofeckinology!

  3. Oh my!!!! Good luck! I hope you have the family all spiffy and looking their finest for the big trade in!

    I was commiserating with you all the way through, but then you said Garth Brooks and I forgot what you wrote about. πŸ˜‰

  4. Bloody hell Tric it’s a good job you only had a few glasses of vino or the language might have been some what stronger!!!!!!!! then where would you have been, having to look for a couple of ** I guess??
    Chris.

  5. It didn’t look very difficult to me.

    And that exact thought has got me into more trouble than I can legally tell you about. I’m also a button presser when I have no idea what I am doing. I figure sooner or later I’ll hit the right one.

    1. We are definitely kindred spirits there. I must admit it is something I was also guilty of before and no I will not elaborate either.
      As for button pressing, my friend showed me how times have moved on, because when she was teaching me and made a mistake she kept repeating the words “Error void” aloud, until I pointed out to her there was no voice recognition on the till.

  6. Bless your heart! The last two days I’ve been feeling sorry for myself because of my weather related glitches in my internet connection. I do believe this is something that afflicts us all. πŸ™‚

  7. That new technology is always a bitch….But, Im growing increasingly concerned with whats going to happen with the electric blanket?? πŸ™‚

  8. Too funny. Out of all them, I’d have to say that the electric blanket malfunctioning would be the worst to deal with. I too use an electric blanket on my side of the bed. Turn it on 30 minutes prior and the bed is perfectly toasty. Going a night without it would be very difficult. I hope it’s working for you now.

    1. I have just been reminded that I forgot to buy a new blanket. Can’t believe it. Top of my list tomorrow.
      Oh and got my Garth Brooks tickets!!!

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