Men!

So, it’s been way too long since we chatted. Now that I’m not writing my column in the Examiner, I seem to never get the chance to go online to blog. You’ll be pleased to know I am working away on my memoir and it’s going ok. I’ll post our October diaries in the next few days so you can keep up to date on all the latest in our writing journey. However, in the meantime I thought I’d let off a little steam as I share with you my anti men rant.

Of course, it’s not all men, just those feckers who become obnoxious when they drive…

My first encounter with one such a speci(men) took place yesterday while collecting my daughters car. It had been fixed up, good as new and stored in a yard behind a large set of gates. As I thanked the mechanic and wandered into the yard to pick it up, a fancy black, almost brand new Mercedes pulled up and stopped a little left of the gates. Unfortunately, not left enough for me to drive out.

Knowing the driver probably hadn’t seen me get into my car, I drove out as far as I could and waited a moment, hoping he might spot me. He didn’t. A little peeved I went in to the reception, smiled beautifully, and asked him could he move his car as I couldn’t get out. My expected reply from him was, ‘No bother,” possibly accompanied by a return of my dazzling smile. Instead, he gawped at me as if I was speaking in tongues. So, I repeated my request.

“Who are you talking to? Me?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Why? Where are you?” he said.

“Through the gates, in the yard.”

He shook his head as if I was a moron. I returned his ‘you’re a moron’ look with my ‘for fecks sake’ one, turned theatrically and walked out to my car, hoping he was following. My expected outcome was he would come out, (in the lashing rain) and move his car. Well, he did come out, but instead of getting into his car he walked around to the passenger side to see if I was wrong and check if it was because I was a woman that I could not drive past. On seeing it was indeed a very narrow gap, which a motor bike might have struggled through, he got into his car and reversed out of my way.

Men! I thought, and I remained in a rather anti men-in-cars mood for the day.

Make that two days, as today I got beeped at!

Now I am just back from New York (yes what a trip!) and there was nothing but beeping all day long, but here in Ireland, a beep is a lot less common. I was waiting to cross traffic, when an oncoming car stopped to let another car out of a garage. It left a nice gap, which I decided to make use of. I made my way across the road, with no drama, but, on reaching the other side I heard a beep. Yes, a beep. For me! From the fecker who a car had politely stopped for, in order to give him the chance to get out of the garage! He wasn’t even close to me and I didn’t hold him up in any way.

So, why did he even bother beeping me?

The fecker. The rage.

Of course I can’t actually be sure it was a man…Β 

 


8 thoughts on “Men!

  1. Impatient, entitled people drive me to ‘feckn’ madness, too – – :D. I sometimes reign myself in my saying out loud, “OMG! I DO so hope you get to the hospital in time – you have your mom in the car and she’s ill, right? Right? IF so, then, by all means, get there as quick as you can, safely – but if not? Well I’m not stopping if you need help” – sometimes, that makes me laugh at myself and I make it out of town and decide to embrace online/local shopping fully – – just until the next time I find myself, in town…. sigh – which is rarer and rare – ain’t nothing I need that badly –

  2. There are times when we of the Y-chromosome crowd elicit (quite warranted) heat from the XX-chromosome side of the spectrum. This is normally evidenced by the visible curling wafts of steam exiting from shapely earlobes of those who have been unfairly affronted.

    On behalf of all the developmentally-delayed Cro-Magnon specimens that have crossed your path, I offer sincerest apologies. Rest assured there are still some of us with less thick craniums and more courteous demeanours.

    Love your country by the way. Been there a couple of times. Gorgeous scenery and even more awesome people. πŸ™‚

    1. Apology accepted. πŸ˜€ I have a large number of Y chromosome people in my life who would not have been as gracious as you on reading my generalisation.
      Thankfully they don’t blog

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